Posts Tagged "Attachment Parenting"
To my babies: this year…
Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting resolutions! This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we’re writing about how we want to parent differently — or the same — in the New Year. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants. ****** Dear Rain and Noa This year, 2010, your fifth year and your second year with us, I resolve to: Let you help more and backseat drive less while you do Go for more walks Do my best to find the right place for you, Rain, to go to Kindergarten and Relax and give the school a chance once we make a decision Breastfeed you, Noa, until next New Year’s or as long as you’d like Shout less Spend less time on the computer during your waking hours Hold you in my arms and in my heart every day Wait and think before I react when you do something that upsets me Be patient about sleep and Continue to share the family bed with you Listen to you Never wish you were older but stay present with you right now today Take care of myself so I can be the Mama you deserve, so I can become the person you see in me Laugh more, play more, read more Teach by example and Follow your lead May 2010 be another year filled with togetherness. I look forward to learning more about you both every day. Much love, Mama ****** Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting! Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants: (All the links should be active by noon on Jan. 12. Go to Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama for the most recently updated list.) • To Yell or Not to Yell — The Adventures of Lactating Girl • It Is All About Empathy: Nurturing a Toddler’s Compassion Potential — Baby Dust Diaries • To my babies: this year… — BluebirdMama • Mindfully Loving My Children — Breastfeeding Moms Unite! • January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Resolutions — Code Name: Mama • Imperfect Mother — Consider Eden • Resolutions — Craphead (aka Mommy) • FC Mom’s Parenting Resolutions 2010 — FC Mom • What’s in a Resolution? — Happy Mothering • January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting resolutions — Hobo Mama • Natural Parenting Resolutions — Little Green Blog • This year, I will mostly… — Look Left of the Pleiades • Parenting Resolutions — The Mahogany Way • I Resolve to Breastfeed In Public More Often — mama2mama tips • Moving to Two Kids — Megna the Destroyer • Use Love — Momopoly • My parenting resolutions — Musings of a Milk Maker • Talkin’ ’bout My Resolutions — Navelgazing • Parenting Resolutions — One Starry Night • Invitations, not resolutions — Raising My Boychick • No more multitasking during kid time — The Recovering Procrastinator • I need to slow down, smell those roses AND the poopy diapers — Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma • Resolutely Parenting in 2010 — This Is...
Read MoreRested Mama
Being a parent of more than one child poses a rather repetitive problem: how to balance the (often competing) needs of each child and feel like you’re doing at least a decent (good enough) job most/some of the time? I’ve developed a cold and awful sore throat just in time for the holidays so this problem has been magnified exponentially for me this week. Lots to do and desperately in need of rest and two little ones to care for. Sleep. Rest. This is a challenge for most parents in some way, isn’t it? We co-sleep. We co-slept with our son until he was about 3 and then we gradually transitioned him to his own bed in his own room. At least half of the time, he still has a sleep partner in his room or in the living room. He rarely comes into our bed because four is just too many (even in a King size) for me to get any amount of sleep. We chose co-sleeping for a variety of reasons (and that’s probably a separate post) which were still valid when our daughter was born and thus, we did it again. However, I have found that both of my children were/are persistent night-wakers and had/have a serious habit of needing to nurse back to sleep. Was this because of co-sleeping? I don’t know. Perhaps they would have done that anyway and co-sleeping allowed me at least a bit of sleep. Or perhaps they were so used to the accessibility that a bad habit developed. I can’t really go back and answer that question. What I do know is that after 18 months of night-waking (for the second time round), I definitely feel like I need some good quality sleep. Of course, this is underscored now due to my being sick. But I digress. I do not believe in letting my children cry-it-out. Again, for a lot of reasons. Read some here. And here. It’s been important to me to try night-weaning in a gradual gentle manner. With my son, in the end, it wasn’t as gentle as I might have liked but having returned to work, I was getting desperate and overall, I feel that we did the best we could. Yes, there was way more crying than I would have liked. But it always occurred in someone’s arms. My son was never left to cry himself into a panic of puking and exhaustion-stress-caused sleep. We are trying now to night-wean my daughter. I am trying to be gentle and patient with this. One of the graces of a second time parent is the insight that things do indeed change. As a result, I am much more patient with sleep struggles with my daughter than I was with my first-born. I have the awareness that it will pass even when it feels like it will take forever. I am much more willing to applaud the small steps forward and wait it out. But I am beginning to wonder if I really have that luxury. Preschoolers are infuriating at times. Age 2-5 used to be my favourite age…until I had to live with a child in that bracket. My son is four and right now, he is pushing and challenging me like I have never been before. He needs every bit of patience, consistency, re-direction, repetition and love that I can muster. And as a person chronically sleep-deprived, I do not have those qualities in me in the quantities he needs. Daniel Siegel, author of The Mindful Brain and Parenting From The Inside Out talks about being mindful and aware in our reactions. I am paraphrasing here but in general, this involves the ability to step back and see the situation and be aware of our intentions and other’s intentions before reacting. He described it as the ability to dive below the surface where the water is calm. From that place of stillness, you can look up at the storm raging above, realise it is there but not be affected by it and not choose to have...
Read MoreWordless Books: 1001 Things to Spot
For my preschooler, these books are awesome! I have seen other spotting books (like the I Spy series that uses real photographs) but I find that they are too busy for my 4 year old. They also require an adult/reader who can tell the child what they should be looking for from the list. The 1001 Things to Spot series from excellent children’s publisher Usborne is super cool because the pictures are hand drawn and seem more appropriate to a preschool skill level in that they are detailed but not overwhelming. The things to spot are listed both with a word and an image so that Rain can easily see what he’s looking for without having to ask me. Also, it helps gear children up for counting as the number of things they have to find is indicated with a big number beside the picture. At the back of the book, there is always an extra page of bonus items that have to be found somewhere in the book. These are of course harder because they could appear on any page. There is always a lot to talk about on every page and Rain’s imagination is often jump-started by these books. Just today we had to google armadillo images after he spotted one in the 1001 Things to Spot on the Farm book and thought it was a bandaged up calf. This series appeals to a broad age range and as a result your child will get several years worth of enjoyment out of the 1001 Things to Spot series. At first they might only look at the pictures, or spot one or two items. Eventually, they will be counting on their own and getting more adept at finding the more difficult items. The books appeal equally to my 4 year old son and to my 7 year old niece. I would suggest trying a couple out from the library to find your favourite. We found some had pictures that were a bit too simple or boring, while others were really delightful. Our favourites so far are 1001 Pirate Things to Spot and 1001 Things to Spot in the Sea. I’m also looking forward to checking out 1001 Things to Spot in the Town. UPDATE: This afternoon we got 1001 Things to Spot on the Farm in our Scholastic Book order. This one was better than I expected including pages about harvest, orchards, green houses, stables, ranches and even rice fields. And bestill my AP heart, we had to find 5 babies in slings on the rice field...
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