Vision

This post is my response to the questions I posed last week in a fresh perspective on New Year's Resolutions. I also challenged bloggers to write their thoughts, reflections on 2009 and their plans, hopes for 2010. Don't forget to add the link to your post in the comments.They say that you should never attempt more than 1 major life change each year. This is stuff like quitting your job or moving. Big stuff. In 2008, we: 1) had another baby, 2) quit a job (Aaron did), 3) moved out of the bus and into a house, and 4) moved to a new community.The word that defined 2008 was definitely Transition. It was a time of flux, change, excitement but also stress and anxiety. It was a difficult year for our then 2.5 year old boy. I can't possibly reflect on 2009 without realizing how intimately it was shaped by the year before.2009 was our year to re-group and re-adjust. 2009 was a year of family, a year of just being, of hunkering down, of holding one another, of becoming the changes. Certainly 2009 has still been characterized by change: we moved again to a new home, we started a family business and I made the difficult decision to close my birth supply business. With the family business, Aaron was home more to enjoy his kids and we benefited from his help and presence in the house. We spent a lot of time together. We worked with Rain to help him adjust to the new life we've been living and we got to know the sweet and fiery little girl emerging from our baby. Mostly we took it slow together. Challenges:Parenting a preschooler - falling into bad habits of yelling and reactive disciplineSleep deprivationBudgeting/debtLetting go of my businessLacking vision, identity issuesSuccesses:Strong family unitWatching our business grow - becoming self-reliantFocus on cutting back and doing more ourselvesRemaining true to our valuesMore time for creativityPlanning regularly for the futureThe interesting thing about this New Year is that we begin a new decade and on Dec. 30, Aaron also turned 35. It felt like a time when we might make big goals, not just look at the year ahead but where should we be in 5 years? 10 years? We have been meeting semi-regularly on the phone with my sister this past year to make future plans (more to be revealed over the coming months) so I should know the answer to those questions. But I feel torn between many different ideas and wants, feel unsure of what to strive for. There is some conflict between the things I want for myself and the things I want for my family. Out of necessity, I have pushed the future into the corner. 2008 and 2009 were about the present, the day-to-day.The Road Ahead