Don’t Stop Believing

{Today we have a fabulous guest post from Amber of Crafting My Life. I stumbled on Amber in 2008. Our kids were the same age and we were both going through a phase of not being sure what came next in our lives. She had just been laid off while on maternity leave and I had just moved and sold a business. Every Thursday, I looked forward to catching up on her inspiring Crafting My Life series on her Strocel.com blog. She’s here today to talk about dealing with the little bumps on the road to your dreams.}

Do you know that feeling, when you have a really great idea? It’s energizing and exciting, and it feels really, really good. You may even feel compelled to stop everything else you’re doing just to focus on your new project. It’s kind of like being in love, only instead of a person, you’re infatuated by your dreams.

Discouragement Sets In

Unfortunately, in romance or in ideas, infatuation doesn’t last. Eventually, that first blush of love fades and you’re seeing things in the clear light of day. What you’re seeing may not look anything like what you envisioned. Doubts start creeping in, from any number of sources. Maybe your friend says, “Oh, yeah, I read about this guy who tried that, but it totally didn’t work.” Maybe you realize that your idea requires more time and money than you currently have. Or maybe you just get sidetracked by a kid who gets sick right just as your partner is leaving town for two weeks.

One of the biggest sources of discouragement for many parents is the way that everything can take a really, really long time when you have kids. Something you could have finished in two weeks in your pre-child days now drags on over months or even years. You can’t just let your toddler fend for himself as you lock yourself in your office over a long weekend, working late into the night. You can’t easily travel or take classes or even shop in stores that carry lots of breakables. Everything requires a new level of planning and patience than it used to, and it’s easy to feel as if you’re not able to get anything done.

Getting Back on Track

When you’re feeling discouraged, and your dreams have been sidetracked, there are a few steps you can take to help get back on track:

1. Re-Evaluate – Sometimes a project isn’t working because it’s not the right fit for us. Other times, we realize that we really do want to do this thing, we’ve just gotten a bit sidetracked. Take some time to re-evaluate and be really honest with yourself. Should you drop this idea, and free up space for something better, or should you pick it back up and make it happen? Only you can decide.
2. Cut Yourself Slack – There are actually scientific studies that explain our tendency to overcommit. When we’re planning for the future, we forget about all the ordinary, everyday tasks we’ll have to do, like cleaning and commuting and taking our kids to the dentist. As a result, we create unrealistic schedules for ourselves. If you can cut yourself some slack when things take longer than you’d hoped, instead of beating yourself up and giving up in discouragement, you’ll stand a much better chance of realizing your dreams.
3. Find Support – In our lives, we have people who are really great at supporting us, and people who just aren’t. When you’re following your dreams, you need a lot of support. Seek out the people or communities where you always feel uplifted. And when you’re with someone who has a way of taking the wind out of your sails, find something else to talk about.
4. Seek Inspiration – Whatever your dream, there is someone who has been just where you are and carried it through. While their journey won’t be identical to yours, seeking out those who have succeeded, or whose stories resonate with you, can help remind you what you’re doing and why. It can also remind you that your dream is actually very achievable. Seek out inspiration, and return to it when you need a little boost.

Crafting my Life

I have been on a personal journey to figure out exactly what I want to do with my life for almost three years now. Along the way, I have experienced my fair share of discouragement. I have let some ideas go, and nurtured others. No matter how each project turned out, I have learned something every step of the way. No effort is wasted in life.

One of my biggest realizations, as I sought my own bliss, was that I really wanted to help other people live more purposeful and authentic lives. The seeds of that desire to help grew into Crafting my Life. Crafting my Life is a set of online tools for busy moms who want a life of greater intention and purpose. It’s targeted to moms because we have some special constraints in our lives. It’s hard for us to get out of the house to take classes or spend time by ourselves. Crafting my Life is something that you can do on your own schedule, at your own pace, without ever having to leave your house.

Discouragement happens, but we don’t have to let it overpower us. We can use it as a tool to help us hone our focus and clarify our intentions. I won’t let my dreams be de-railed just because they’re taking a little longer than I expected. I hope you won’t, either.

How do you deal with discouragement?

Amber Strocel is a writer, life-crafter, dreamer, and rather shoddy housekeeper who lives in the Vancouver area with her husband and two kids. She’s devoted to simplifying and living a more sustainable life. She helps moms follow their bliss at Crafting my Life, records her daily adventures on her blog Strocel.com, and works as the Content Manager for VancouverMom.ca.