Posts by bluebirdmama
Rested Mama
Being a parent of more than one child poses a rather repetitive problem: how to balance the (often competing) needs of each child and feel like you’re doing at least a decent (good enough) job most/some of the time? I’ve developed a cold and awful sore throat just in time for the holidays so this problem has been magnified exponentially for me this week. Lots to do and desperately in need of rest and two little ones to care for. Sleep. Rest. This is a challenge for most parents in some way, isn’t it? We co-sleep. We co-slept with our son until he was about 3 and then we gradually transitioned him to his own bed in his own room. At least half of the time, he still has a sleep partner in his room or in the living room. He rarely comes into our bed because four is just too many (even in a King size) for me to get any amount of sleep. We chose co-sleeping for a variety of reasons (and that’s probably a separate post) which were still valid when our daughter was born and thus, we did it again. However, I have found that both of my children were/are persistent night-wakers and had/have a serious habit of needing to nurse back to sleep. Was this because of co-sleeping? I don’t know. Perhaps they would have done that anyway and co-sleeping allowed me at least a bit of sleep. Or perhaps they were so used to the accessibility that a bad habit developed. I can’t really go back and answer that question. What I do know is that after 18 months of night-waking (for the second time round), I definitely feel like I need some good quality sleep. Of course, this is underscored now due to my being sick. But I digress. I do not believe in letting my children cry-it-out. Again, for a lot of reasons. Read some here. And here. It’s been important to me to try night-weaning in a gradual gentle manner. With my son, in the end, it wasn’t as gentle as I might have liked but having returned to work, I was getting desperate and overall, I feel that we did the best we could. Yes, there was way more crying than I would have liked. But it always occurred in someone’s arms. My son was never left to cry himself into a panic of puking and exhaustion-stress-caused sleep. We are trying now to night-wean my daughter. I am trying to be gentle and patient with this. One of the graces of a second time parent is the insight that things do indeed change. As a result, I am much more patient with sleep struggles with my daughter than I was with my first-born. I have the awareness that it will pass even when it feels like it will take forever. I am much more willing to applaud the small steps forward and wait it out. But I am beginning to wonder if I really have that luxury. Preschoolers are infuriating at times. Age 2-5 used to be my favourite age…until I had to live with a child in that bracket. My son is four and right now, he is pushing and challenging me like I have never been before. He needs every bit of patience, consistency, re-direction, repetition and love that I can muster. And as a person chronically sleep-deprived, I do not have those qualities in me in the quantities he needs. Daniel Siegel, author of The Mindful Brain and Parenting From The Inside Out talks about being mindful and aware in our reactions. I am paraphrasing here but in general, this involves the ability to step back and see the situation and be aware of our intentions and other’s intentions before reacting. He described it as the ability to dive below the surface where the water is calm. From that place of stillness, you can look up at the storm raging above, realise it is there but not be affected by it and not choose to have...
Read MoreWordless Books: 1001 Things to Spot
For my preschooler, these books are awesome! I have seen other spotting books (like the I Spy series that uses real photographs) but I find that they are too busy for my 4 year old. They also require an adult/reader who can tell the child what they should be looking for from the list. The 1001 Things to Spot series from excellent children’s publisher Usborne is super cool because the pictures are hand drawn and seem more appropriate to a preschool skill level in that they are detailed but not overwhelming. The things to spot are listed both with a word and an image so that Rain can easily see what he’s looking for without having to ask me. Also, it helps gear children up for counting as the number of things they have to find is indicated with a big number beside the picture. At the back of the book, there is always an extra page of bonus items that have to be found somewhere in the book. These are of course harder because they could appear on any page. There is always a lot to talk about on every page and Rain’s imagination is often jump-started by these books. Just today we had to google armadillo images after he spotted one in the 1001 Things to Spot on the Farm book and thought it was a bandaged up calf. This series appeals to a broad age range and as a result your child will get several years worth of enjoyment out of the 1001 Things to Spot series. At first they might only look at the pictures, or spot one or two items. Eventually, they will be counting on their own and getting more adept at finding the more difficult items. The books appeal equally to my 4 year old son and to my 7 year old niece. I would suggest trying a couple out from the library to find your favourite. We found some had pictures that were a bit too simple or boring, while others were really delightful. Our favourites so far are 1001 Pirate Things to Spot and 1001 Things to Spot in the Sea. I’m also looking forward to checking out 1001 Things to Spot in the Town. UPDATE: This afternoon we got 1001 Things to Spot on the Farm in our Scholastic Book order. This one was better than I expected including pages about harvest, orchards, green houses, stables, ranches and even rice fields. And bestill my AP heart, we had to find 5 babies in slings on the rice field...
Read MoreDoing It Myself
My husband and I have talked for a long time about the idea of being more self-sufficient. When we lived with my sister, we collaborated on a huge garden and we learned a lot from my sister who makes a lot of things herself rather than buying. Some of the changes we’ve made this year were done for financial reasons but we often find that making decisions for financial reasons reveals other bonuses you might not have expected. Food-wise making things from scratch gives you total control over the ingredients for instance. Product-wise making items often means that you can choose materials that won’t end up in a landfill. You can also reuse and up-cycle to reduce the impact of acquiring more things and by making rather buying, you teach your children about self-sufficiency and hopefully, skirt around some consumerism issues. Things we used to buy regularly that we now make ourselves are: ice cream, bread (though we have an awesome local baker that we support at least once a week for our sliced bread), mayo and granola. The bread recipe we use required a baking stone and rather than buy one, my husband had a potter friend fire us a flat slab of clay and we’ve been using the artisan bread recipe from Mother Earth News. My sister also makes her own yogurt, crackers and pasta noodles. I’m itching to try cheese although it feels kind of daunting to cut out buying cheese completely. And in a way, who would want to?? In the last couple of months, having closed my business, I have a lot more time to do things with my hands in and around caring for my kids. This Christmas especially I’ve been getting a lot of joy out of making things. Some of my recent projects have included: A magnetic Advent Calendar that is about counting down the days, rather than counting up the chocolate or little gifts every day. I wanted a calendar that was not disposable and that didn’t focus on getting something everyday. I stumbled on this idea (using a cookie sheet and scrapbooking papers) last year and loved it right away. A Caterpillar Dress for a swap with members from my old Due Date Club at Mothering.com from when I was pregnant with my daughter. I have made 1 which I sent in the swap and I’m making 2 more out of the remaining fabric (1 for my daughter and 1 as a gift). The corduroy was store-bought and the satin was an old housecoat I got from a friend. These dresses will fit from age 1-3 because as Little Miss grows you just start layering it over pants and it goes from Dress to Tunic to Tank Top. A Baby Blanket for my daughter to replace the one I knit her while pregnant and which got lost when she was 4 months old. I’m doing a different pattern this time, from Natural Knits. I still have 3 squares left to go + blocking + sewing together + knitting the edging. Do you think I can get it done in the next 9 days??? Our Stockings. I would like to maybe re-do these at some point in the future and do a nicer job using nicer fabrics. For now, I whipped these up in an hour using some cheap fleece. I like them. They’ll do for now. Popcorn Garland. This is our first year with a real tree. We used a little potted Norfolk Island Pine when we lived in the bus but it just wasn’t the same. Last year we travelled for Christmas so no tree. As a result, we’ve been married for 7 years and have almost no Christmas decorations. Plus, we’re in our first year of a new business so we don’t have a lot of cash. We did the old-fashioned popcorn and cranberry garland. Aaron and I sat up doing it one evening after the kids were in bed. It was a lovely way to spend the evening, sipping wine and chatting over a shared project...
Read MoreBlender Mayonnaise
I’ve had some homemade mayos before and I have to admit they never come close in taste to my beloved store bought varieties. Until this one. I got the recipe from my sister, modified it a bit and voila! One more thing I don’t have to buy prepared from the store. We’re trying to increase the number of things we make ourselves and for some reason this one makes me extra happy. Whirl in blender: 2 eggs 1 1/2 tsp salt 1 Tbsp dry mustard Clean down sides with spatula. Add: 2 Tbsp lemon juice Start blender, remove cover and very slowly, pour in: 1/2 cup salad oil 2 Tbsp vinegar Slowly, with blender still running, add: 1 cup salad...
Read MoreFamily Christmas Photo
So it turns out that I might be really vain. We tried to take a family photo to put in our Christmas cards yesterday. Well, I tried to anyway. My husband was kind of just doing what he was told. I showered. This is a big deal since I’ve had kids because unfortunately, that doesn’t happen every day anymore. I blow dried my hair and tried to style it. I put on make up. I put cute clothes on the kids, wet their hair so their curls would come out instead of being obscured in a mat of tangles. I arranged the scene, set up the camera. I practiced a bunch of shots using various settings until I found a good one. This part seemed most important as I knew the kids wouldn’t want to sit long. I wanted to be able to just click the auto-timer 2, maybe 3, times and be done so that we weren’t fighting squirming kids. I called Aaron in from the garage. He took off his jacket and toque, put on a sweater and sat where I told him. He looks perfect in every. single. picture. It took him 3 seconds to get ready. Perfect smile, perfect hair. Argh. We took 3 shots. Rain was surprisingly into it. He usually doesn’t like pictures but he seemed excited by the race to get in position before the auto-timer clicked our portrait. Everyone looks great. But who the hell is that plastic fake mom with my family? Aaron agreed. Okay. Take Two. I put my hair up the way it is every day. I changed my shirt. There. At least I look like myself now. Grab the kids again and try again. We managed 4 shots before we had to give up because Noa was getting increasingly terrified of the auto-timer flash. In every picture she’s making this “Oh, god, there it goes again” face. And me? I tried to sit straight, smile nicely, eyes open, keep Rain’s hands from blocking anyone’s face and we got 4 shots of me (at least it’s me this time) in all kinds of contorted facial expressions. How is this possible when it felt like I just sat still and smiled right when the flash went off? Do I do these strange faces consistently every half second and the camera just captures them? Am I sending some terribly off-kilter subliminal message without knowing it, like movies that put in a flash of “Drink Coke” or “It’s all a conspiracy” so quickly that we don’t consciously notice but we still rush off to buy coke? So I had a little hissy fit. To my husband, it seemed like a gross over-reaction. But you know, it goes a lot deeper than a stupid Christmas card photo. I’ve definitely not been feeling like I look my best lately. Erica Ehm and her Yummy Mummy club can eat it because I’m the founding member of the Frumpy Mummy club. Card carrying member. And yet, God knows I don’t need that broadcast on all of our Christmas cards. It’s supposed to be like, an undercover club. Covert. I try to be a bit dignified in public. I try. Motherhood kind of sucks it out of you in some ways doesn’t it? Does anyone really consciously decide that Soccer Mom is their ideal style or does it just happen to you? Like a virus? I mean, I used to have cute short haircuts but when you lay down 2 or 3 times a day putting babies down for naps, short hair means you’re permanently sporting Bed Head. This is especially upsetting on those days when you actually manage to shower and do your hair before 10:00 in the morning and your husband comes home from work and looks at you like “Did you just get up?” So I grew my hair out but it’s kind of thick and unmanageable so that means I wear it up every day. I quit getting it dyed when I was pregnant the first time so now it’s kind of...
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