Posts by bluebirdmama
First Baby First Homebirth
I was born at home so I’ve known all my life that there was a possibility that it wasn’t all about the hospital, that there were options. Even so, when I was pregnant with my first my attitude was “we’ll see.” I thought we’d explore it, talk it over with the midwives but that it was more likely we’d have a homebirth with our second baby. I was unsure and I thought back to my mom saying that one of the reasons she had me at home was because she’d already given birth twice before. She talked about it like it was no big deal, but there was always the underlying explanation that she had experience. And me? In my first pregnancy? Of course, no experience. I recently read this post by @heartsandhandss from twitter where she talks about whether or not homebirth is for you. What struck me so much about her post was the idea that as a first time mom, even those who are drawn to homebirth often feel this ambivalence about homebirth. You say that with your second baby you might consider a birthing center or a homebirth because it won’t be as scary as with your first baby. Her argument is that you might as well have a homebirth while you still qualify for one, while you are still low risk. With cesarean rates hovering round 30% (depending on where you are), you have a 1 in 3 chance of coming home from the hospital with the prospect of trying for a VBAC next time. Again, depending on where you are, you might not be eligible for a homebirth anymore after that. This point of view really stuck with me. To me the tricky part is being able to balance that kind of rationale with the fact that first time moms often haven’t got the experience to TRUST birth yet. Interestingly, for so many the experience they gain in the hospital does the exact opposite: it doesn’t teach them to trust birth at all. Or you find that experienced mothers turn to homebirth only because they’ve had such a terrible hospital experience that they go looking for anything, any alternative must be better than doing THAT again. A few things helped change my mind about having a homebirth for my first baby. The first was that in my family it was treated like a normal and acceptable choice. I had support for my decision and it was something I’d known about my whole life. The second factor was the trust I had in my midwives and when I told them that I thought maybe a homebirth the second time around, they were able to put whatever nebulous fears I had to rest. In fact, I can’t even remember what their answer was. I just knew after that talk that we’d be planning a homebirth. And lastly, I read books books books until I trusted birth at least logically if not from experience. For me, it ended up being the natural path to take, perhaps because that’s where my path started in the first place. For others, I really think that @heartsandhandss makes a compelling and logical argument. If you want the best chance of staying low risk, staying eligible for homebirth in the future, at least explore it as an option the first time. Or make the choice to birth with a midwife in a hospital or birth centre. Otherwise, the choice may never be yours. photo credit:...
Read MoreWordless Books: A Boy, A Dog & A Frog series
This week we are sharing an old classic, probably older than I am, much loved by my kids and by me. This is the Mercer Meyer series A Boy, a Dog and a Frog. The drawings are monochromatic and have a sort of timeless yet retro feel (as impossible as that seems). And I gotta love any artist that uses crosshatching. The pictures are sweet; the adventures silly. The set of three books we borrowed from a friend were also tiny, like 3×4 inches. This is a lovely size for little people. The books fit easily in a bag to bring to restaurants or other places where you have to w…a…i…t. Plus, it seems like little people usually like little things, things that are made just for them, in their size. There are quite a few books in this series and to be honest, I remember them from my childhood but so far, we’ve only delved into a couple with Rain. I’m looking forward to going through all of them. Most recently we read One Frog Too Many in which the boy who already has a dog, a frog and a turtle brings home another little frog. Unfortunately, the first frog is jealous and behaves poorly. There were plenty of opportunities for discussing emotions and appropriate actions. Mercer Meyer seems to have a talent for drawing postures and facial expressions that intimately convey emotion and we really got caught up in the feelings of sadness, disappointment, surprise and joy. The books have definitely been a Quiet Time favourite at our house....
Read MoreAttitude Adjustment
Remember: if something is hard to do, then it’s not worth doing. — Homer J. Simpson I have often laughed about this quote partly because it’s true for me in some ways, and partly because I know to laugh at myself. I have never thought of myself as strong. I’ve hovered around 110 Lbs since my mid-teens. I wasn’t on the basketball team in high school. I’m not athletic. I get winded running around the block. And sometimes taking the stairs at work (though I still do it). I’ve never thought of myself as someone you’d ask to carry heavy boxes when you move. Or as someone who just keeps at it no matter how tired. That’s more like my husband. And that’s why I married him. When I was pregnant with my son, back in 2005, I took a Birthing From Within childbirth prep class and we spent one beautiful, sunny, Sunday morning in August talking about and crying about our worst fears about labour. Mine was pretty much that I just don’t have it in me to do something that physical for that long, that I would give up. I was afraid not only that I wasn’t strong enough but also that I just didn’t have the attitude to get me through. I had heard that quote about “having a baby is hard work. That’s why they call it labour” and while I appreciate it, it kind of scared me more than all the media hype about pain. But you know what? Guess what I’ve done in the last five years? I’ve made and grown another human being inside my body. Twice. I’ve pushed a baby out of my body without any pain relief medication or extraction methods. Twice. I’ve fed and kept a child alive and thriving for six months with my body alone. Twice. It turns out that my body is pretty damn strong and amazing. I did all this without training. Without special exercise or diet for the most part. I mostly ate the way I always eat. I took prenatal vitamins regularly the first time and when I remembered the second time. I did some prenatal yoga during my first pregnancy. I had awesome fans and a couple of great coaches which helped a lot of course. But I didn’t practice pregnancy or labour or birth or breastfeeding. I just did it. Because my body is made to do it. It turns out that I wasn’t just wrong about having a strong body. I was also dead wrong about my mind and my attitude. Or rather, by the time it really mattered I found out that I was wrong about my attitude. Before the contractions hit and around transition when I was telling myself to go to the hospital for an epidural, I still had some serious Homer attitude. But somehow I didn’t quit. What made the difference? When I look back, I realise that I was training and practicing and working hard getting ready to have a baby, breastfeed a baby and become a parent. I was preparing my mind for a mental marathon and I was adjusting my attitude. The yoga, the childbirth class, journaling, reading, learning: all of those were my training, my practice. It turns out that all of those are what helped me do what I needed to do. And for the rest, my body just did it’s thing because that’s what it is meant to do. Turns out that I’m more Winnie the Pooh than Homer Simpson: There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. — Winnie the Pooh **photo: The hard work of labor, Flickr,...
Read MoreWordless Books: Flotsam
Lately, I’ve been on a bit of a kick of finding wordless books for Rain during our library trips. The beauty of these books is that we can take turns telling the story and talking about the pictures and the telling is a little different each time, but also Rain is more than happy to take them on car trips and into Quiet Time to “read.” I usually choose our books based on an attraction to the art and wordless books usually don’t disappoint in the art department. I have a few up my sleeve that I’d like to recommend but first up is Flotsam, by David Wiesner (2007). The book is whimsical, fantastic, mysterious and a Caldecott Medal winner. You will spot something new in the pictures every time you re-read the book. We liked that the boy looked somewhat like my son will look when he is older and I sometimes tell the story as though it were happening to Rain. We absolutely adored the way the mystery of the camera found on the beach unfolded and were delighted with the imaginative underwater photos. Even a few pages in, I was hooked by Rain’s quizzical intrigued smile. Inside: by David Wiesner Houghton...
Read MoreFresh Salsa
It’s not really the season for fresh salsa but my mom just gave me I don’t know how many pounds of tomatoes that she harvested from her garden this fall. They needed to be used and I love salsa. I used to make this salsa with jalapeno but the kids don’t like it as much and I prefer to be able to taste all of the other flavours (besides the burn) so I started using a dash of tabasco instead. Some will find that terrible and this salsa too weak. But I love it. 3 or more good sized beefsteak-style tomatoes (fleshy, not too juicy), diced 1/4 small red onion, minced 1 clove garlic juice from 1 lime splash of olive oil splash of red wine vinegar 1/2 clump of cilantro salt to taste You can give this a brief whizz in the blender if you like your chunks a little smaller or eat as...
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