Posts by bluebirdmama
How Poetic
I was tucking Rain into bed. With an arm around my neck, he said, “Mom, do you feel sweet sorrow?” Surprised and taken aback, I replied, “No, do you feel sweet sorrow Rain?” Solemnly: “Yes. Yes I do. Because I miss our friends in Vancouver.” Gotta love that Magic Treehouse CD for introducing my 4 year old to Shakespeare.
Read MoreIdentity Crisis
For a very long time I was a student. After I left school, I worked various jobs. Nothing I would call a career, but jobs I liked and excelled at. I had a circle of friends at work and the jobs were, inevitably, part of who I was. I also read The Georgia Straight, went to movies, read books, listened to music and went to a lot of concerts and shows, saw a lot of DJs. I went hiking in the Coast Mountains on the weekends with co-workers. Then we bought a school bus and every spare moment was spent on the monumental project of converting an empty steel hulk into a livable space. We stopped hiking and camping. We went to fewer DJ shows. We gardened and went to Home Depot. Then we had a baby. There went movies and concerts and reading. The first year living in the bus was like the first year of parenthood. It is so hard, so different and so all encompassing that at the end of that year, you come out completely different. There is so much to learn, so much to adapt to, so much work to do that a lot of your old self drops away. The loss of former identity markers (though coupled with some disorientation) resulted in the forging of new ways of identifying. I became a “bus person,” a mom, and I suppose, (though I find this term a little silly) a birth junkie. I started my home birth supply business and threw myself into learning everything I could about birth and maternity care advocacy, about web design, about entrepreneurship. I was immersed in this world of living in a bus, of raising my son and of spending every spare minute building my birth store. Old interests were replaced with new and part of me was happy as I’ve always thought that we are more than our jobs, more than what we do. I felt excited about the prospect of self-definition coming from relationships, from who we are and who we love. Then we moved away from the City, away from our family, out of Eliza. We live in a little house and Eliza sits empty in a friend’s yard, forlorn and lonely, and sadly, unfinished. Then I made the difficult decision to close my business. I have spare time again. I’m knitting. Reading novels. Enjoying cooking and baking. But I am not a student. I have no career. I am no longer a bus person or an entrepreneur. I am not actively involved in the birth community as I was through my store. I have also come out of that fog as a new parent where your life is wrapped so tightly around the day to day necessity of being mom to a helpless infant. I am more than mom, more than wife, more than supporting actress. Right? In the same way that a home-maker might feel a little at a loss when her babies leave the nest, I feel that my other babies (my projects) just flew the coop too. And well, what does that make me now? Other than a bird sitting on an empty nest? I am letting myself exist in this space for a bit, knowing full well that I need me some renewal and some time. I am reading The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal, keeping tabs on the Mama Renew blog and waiting for whatever comes next. The next phase will probably start without me realizing it and in the mean time, I’ll be...
Read MorePreparing The Nest – getting ready for your homebirth
Having a home birth can be an amazingly empowering and rewarding experience, not just for mom but for the whole family. In a world dependent on technology, enamored with science, it is indeed a rare accomplishment to birth a baby at home far from epidurals and laughing gas. There is also something magical about going through the birth experience in the place you live day to day, in your own private space where you feel safe and comfortable. Imagine how lovely it is, a year or two later, to look up from where you are sitting and think “wow, this is where we were when this sweet child joined us for the first time!” A home birth is not particularly more complicated than a hospital birth. In fact, in many ways, it can be much simpler. No forms to fill out, no nurses coming and going, no shift changes, no electronic fetal monitoring—just you, your team and your space. However, you will need to cover a few basics: Mindset Try not to fixate on the idea of being at home. Prepare for the possibility of needing or wanting to transfer to the hospital not because you doubt the process but because there is always an element of unpredictability with birth. In the event of a transfer, you will need to remain focused on your birth and your baby rather than being disappointed about ending up at the hospital. Telling everyone in the weeks beforehand that we were “planning a home birth” rather than “having a home birth” helped me to mentally leave the door open for the possibility of a change of venue. Cleaning Several weeks before your due date give the place a serious clean. Afterwards you will only need to maintain with spot cleaning/maintenance. No need to feel embarrassed by the state of your housekeeping when welcoming your birth team. Supplies Your midwife will give you a list of supplies that you will need to have on hand for your birth. Every midwife tends to have a slightly different list but the basics are all the same. Some items can be found around the house; others will need to be picked up specifically for your birth. If you order your supplies online, keep them in the shipping box in a place that is relatively handy. Add a good pile of old clean sheets, towels and wash cloths. Choose linens that you don’t mind staining. You can also put everything in a laundry basket for easily carting to a different room when labour starts or if you are compelled to move around. Remember to pack your hospital bag and keep it by the door in case you end up transferring to the hospital. Food Shop beforehand for snacks for yourself and your birth team. Good ideas are fruit, popsicles, juice, miso soup, crackers. You can also make up a batch of Labourade or drink Emergen-C. If your labour is long you may get hungry and you definitely need to stay hydrated. Stock your freezer with healthy heat-and-eat meals to make those first weeks with a newborn a little easier. You can use up some of that late third trimester nesting energy making your own or enlist your family and friends to each donate a meal for your freezer when they ask, “What do you need?” Siblings You can choose the level of involvement for older children: whether they go to friend’s house, stay in the next room or wander in and out at will. Try to bear in mind the individual personalities of your little ones as you make this decision. You can prepare them for what to expect with classes, books or even colouring. Talking with kids ahead of time about what will happen during labour and birth will help them take it all in stride. If you plan on having your older children present, it is a good idea to have an adult there whose main role is to attend to them. Pets Dogs especially can find the commotion of birth slightly upsetting. Try to have...
Read MoreAn Egg Is Quiet
Having recently stumbled on this fabulous book, I decided to add a reading section for sharing the standouts from my trips to the library with Rain. The art in An Egg is Quiet is absolutely stunning. The text is simple but softly poetic, like a lullaby. It wasn’t too dense: easy to read before bed after a long night when I am often dissuaded by books with too much text. Rain loved all the lovely labelled eggs and even I learned things I hadn’t known before. I loved that the book drew parallels between bird eggs, fish eggs, reptile eggs and showcased nature’s beauty so artfully. Though the text was definitely worthwhile, An Egg is Quiet is really amazing for the pictures. I was transfixed by this book. There is a sister book called A Seed is Sleepy which we’ve put a hold on at the library and not yet received. Can’t wait to check that one out too. It looks to be equally lovely. Check out this info page on the two books from Chronicle. The books have received many many well-deserved awards which are listed on this page if you’re interested and there is also a free teacher’s guide that you can download to expand on the books. Inside: By Dianna Aston Illustrated by Sylvia Long Chronicle...
Read MoreMy birth stories
I believe that a lot of good can come from people who find the positive in their birth experience and share it with, well, anyone who will listen. This is an age where between 1 in 3 and 1 in 4 births occur by cesarean. Most women never experience birth before they find themselves in labour. Our society has very little practical experience with normal birth and we are afraid. But there is a rising tide of people who know that birth needn’t be treated like a disease or a medical emergency waiting to happen. There is a growing movement that is shouting and stomping feet and demanding maternity care reform. Change is coming and I sincerely believe that the day will come when we have the best of both worlds: the safety of modern medicine and the sanctity of trust in our bodies and the birth process. That change starts every time someone tells a positive birth story that empowers women to learn more and fear less. I was born at home in the Yukon in the 1970’s. I am so thankful to my parents for this gift: opening my eyes to the beauty of home both that very first time, and again when I birthed my son into my home as an adult. I am grateful for my mother’s dutch doctor who, at my older brother’s birth, showed her that maternity care didn’t have to look like the standard North American medical model, a man who brought new ideas to a prairie town on a new continent and changed the course of birth in my family. Both of my children were born at home with midwives in attendance. Neither birth went exactly as I’d hoped it would. My first resulted in a hospital transfer for retained placenta. My second caught us unprepared three weeks early and ended up being a neighbourhood event. I had envisioned quiet and intimate, not neighbours in the kitchen eating pizza. But when a 10 year old boy who had just seen my hour old daughter exclaimed “This is the best birthday party I’ve ever been to!” I saw the power of sharing positive experiences with everyone around us. Maybe when this boy becomes a father he will remember, just as I remember my mother’s dutch...
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